The Kettle Water Situation

I am not ordinarily a superstitious person. I mean, I believe in God, but then that too in a limited fashion. I used to be scared of ghosts as a kid, but to be honest, most of us were. So I can safely call myself a science-oriented person who does not believe in astrology, curses etc. My fervent prayers before the exams and results is something which I hope can be overlooked in this context.

But of late, I have started to observe a trend which has convinced me that my sleep has been jinxed. Simply put, whenever I take a flight and try to sleep, I cannot. Be it any time, any destination, if I want to sleep, I just cannot. The reasons are myriad. Most often than not, its crying babies. Once it was a curious toddler who was fascinated by my beard and kept trying to play with it despite dissuasion from me and its parents. Sometimes, it is the flight attendants, who prove too hot to keep your eyes off. A couple of times it has been the flight turbulence, which left me as a cocktail of half-nauseous and half-paralysed in fear, shaken as well as stirred.

The other side of the coin is if I want to stay awake and get some work done in the course of the flight – I sleep deeply and peacefully. No babies, no turbulence and no attendants. It doesn’t even have to be work; it could be a novel I want to read or simple solitaire on the laptop. The moment I start it, I go off like the light.

I think it is something like water boiling in a kettle. Like Jerome K. Jerome said, if you look at it, it will take forever. So, don’t look at it and pretend you will not need it. It will boil off immediately. Sounds like a perfect fit for my situation. On a profound note, I think the same goes with success and money in life. But then again, it’s easier said than done. When I am sleep deprived, I don’t think I want to play solitaire, I want to sleep, flight or not.

wait in the queue

I was at Denver airport last weekend on transit when returning to California. Another crowded United Airlines flight (it was the Memorial weekend) was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”

The agent replied, “I am sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but, I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.” The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, “May I have your attention please” she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.”

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore “F*** You!”. Without flinching, she smiled and said, I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to get in line for that too.”