90,000 schools without blackboards

Everytime I pay a tax, I also pay a huge educational cess…. this sum was promised to be used in spreading education to the country’s 1/3 of the population which cannot read or write.
But here is the ground reality

Since the situation has not improved since 2004-2005 and has only worsen since then…. Where did my money go?
Don’t tell me it went in creating new IITs, IIMs, or AIIMS with the sole purpose is to create an army of professionals who would pay taxes and help US Government reduce its Social Security deficit. Because… we have not created a new one either in the past couple of decades.

Sad fact

If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000.

The firearms death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in our Nation’s Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington D.C.
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what do a lawyer and sperm have in common ?
A one in a three million chance of becoming a human being !

Fishing

A young guy from Alberta moves to Vancouver and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The kid says “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta .”

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says “one”.

The boss says “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?”

The kid says “$101,237.65”.

The boss says “$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?”

The kid says, “First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.

Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition.”

The boss said “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?”

The kid said “No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, “Dude, your weekend’s shot. You should go fishing.”
Source

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Wife: “Let’s go out tonight and have some fun.”
Husband: “Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the light on for me!”

Tribal Dance (updated)

I thought of using this space to help some Indian Artists develop their Patronage. So if you are interested in the work of this Bengali Artist, please drop a comment/email and I would be glad to connect the two.
Continue reading

PF screw up

I see Employee’s Provident Fund as just another financial instrument which invests primarily in debts and GoI backed bonds. Looking at the size and the magnitude of its corpus, all I can say is that its high time that there should be some accountability, transparency and professional management in this fund.

1) This year when the interest rates are touching 10% (10.5% for some cooperative banks) why is it that the EPFO office can generate only 8.25% returns on the investment?
2) Where is the Government pissing away the 2% RoI? (10.5 – 8.5%) Why is the AMC (asset management fees a high 2% .. when even mutual funds are happy with 1.5%)
3) What special and unforeseen circumstances have forced the Provident Fund office to dip into the reserves to pay this year’s interest?
4) Three months back they asked everybody to fill the Social Security number forms… What happened to them?
5) When was the last time EPFO gave you the account statement?

The government forces the employees to shell out a major portion of the salary into this scheme and then bully the industry to match the employee’s contribution (which they happily take out of the employee’s pay packet). So we need some answers!

Coffee Time

“Waitress! This coffee tastes like mud!”
“Well it should, Sir–it was just ground this morning!”
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“Waitress, I’ll have coffee, no cream.”
“I’m sorry, Sir, we’re out of cream–could it be without milk?”
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MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
“It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.”
He addressed the man,
“Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”
Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?
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Can you read what is written in the image?
bad eyes

PS: having eyes like an Chinese might help.

When the fence eats the crop…

An article from SAKUNTALA NARASIMHAN in New Indian Express:

Lawyers are supposed to uphold the law and help their clients get justice, right? Ask Sumati. If she hadn’t approached a lawyer to file a claim for the compensation that she was entitled to under the law after her husband was killed in a road accident, she would have saved Rs 70,000 that she ended up spending on the lawyer, money that could have ensured some financial security for her 10-year-old daughter who now spends her time on the streets. That child has had to discontinue schooling because there is no money to meet the expenses.

The lawyer has not only cheated Sumati (not her real name) with repeated demands for money on dubious grounds but also lied to the court, obtained her signature unauthorisedly on documents that she could not read because she is a poor roadside vendor, and ensured that her case will never get resolved.

Sumati was married off at age 18 to an autorickshaw driver who died 15 months later in a traffic accident. She returned to her mother’s place, with a 3-month-old infant, and on the suggestion of some neighbours, engaged this lawyer to file for compensation at the Accidents Claims Tribunal.

The lawyer demanded Rs 200 first, then another Rs 400 ‘for stationery’, then a further Rs 400 ‘for expenses incurred in filing papers’, then another Rs 300 ‘towards typing charges’, and so on, and she kept paying, believing that he was going to help her get the compensation that was due to her. He gave no receipts. He also took her signature on various documents prepared by him (including an undertaking to give him 20 per cent of whatever compensation the court awards her – he did not explain this to her; such a clause is illegal) and she signed, unable to read, and not suspecting that he would do anything fraudulent. He was, she now says, ‘‘going to get her justice’’ and there was, as she saw it, no question of not trusting him.

She too is a roadside vendor like her mother, selling flowers. A year passed, then another, and another. Nothing happened. Whenever she asked him about the delay, he was brusque, and told her irritably that this was how courts worked. It would take time, he said, and she took his word for it.

Her child is now ten years old, and has become a street kid because there is no money to pay the fees that the school demands to let her take her exams. When she sought my advice after becoming suspicious about the lawyer, she hadn’t eaten for two days. An NGO I contacted made investigations and discovered that the lawyer had failed to attend hearings and the case had got dismissed long ago. He never told her.

He abused Sumati when she demanded an explanation, and threatened to have her and her mother ‘‘put in jail’’ if they bothered him. He has her trapped in his clutches. Even to get details of the case number from him was a time-consuming task for the NGO because he refused to part with the case papers and kept dodging them if they phoned. Without a ‘no objection’ from him, the NGO could not proceed with the investigations.

Complain to the Bar Council? Forget it, it won’t work, she has been advised. The family is also vulnerable because three generations of females – the elderly mother, her pretty 29-yearold daughter, and the 10-year-old girl child – are living in a slum without male escort.

The lawyer has made money out of her distress, her widowhood, her ignorance and helplessness. And her implicit trust in someone who speaks English and wears a coat and tie and argues in court. This, then, is the reality. Even in the booming, metropolitan ‘‘IT capital of the country.’’ Even with NGOs willing to help, justice seems elusive, impossible. She has signed papers because she is unlettered and trusted her lawyer. Whose fault is that – hers, or that of the state which guaranteed universal education half a century ago but defaulted on that promise? Who punishes the lawyer for his criminal act of taking a gullible client to the cleaners? He struts around and threatens her – because he is an ‘‘educated’’ man, with access to courts, and she is a poor female with no clout, no money, no VIPs to help. Court procedures intimidate her. No one told her about free legal aid for the indigent. Whose fault is that again?

What happens to Sumati’s daughter who has become a street child because she has had the misfortune to be born to an indigent woman whose husband died in an accident? What is her future? Will she be any better off than her mother and grandmother? So what ‘‘shining progress’’ and golden anniversaries are we boasting about if this is the reality for the 280 million who are poor and unlettered?

What use are all the laws we add to the statute books, if one destitute woman who is entitled to compensation under the law, is not only unable to get it but has, in trying to get it, become heavily indebted, because her lawyer, who was supposed to help her get justice, has not hesitated to do everything that is wrong under the law – the same law that he has got a degree in and claims to uphold, as an advocate? Answers, anyone?

open letter to ICICI Bank

Am I the only person in this planet who gets pissed off by ICICI Bank?

Sir
I had opened up a ICICI Bank account in April, and for the past 4 months I have been breaking my head to get a debit card issued from your bank
I have called your customer care about 8 times,
visited your branch 3 times,
and written twice to your customer care.
On one occasion I thought I won the battle when your manager issued me an instavisa card, but that pleasure was short lived because you guys refused to activate it. In my past 3 years at my current residence I have not even a single ordinary post, but some how your courier guy is never able to find my residence.

One humble request, have I harmed you guys in any way that I am getting this special treatment? Because honestly, I am losing my patience.
I have paid
750/- account opening.
111/- for a debit card which I do not think i will ever get.
206/- telephone calls.
150/- Auto Fare
12 hours of my time over something which ICICI bank is definitely not interested in issuing.

Regards
Ankur

I had a PNB (Punjab National Bank) account in Kharagpur. The Bank Manager refused to issue me a chequebook. There was a ATM Machine and even though I always maintained a healthy bank balance, the bank never issued an ATM Card. Hence I had to waste 1 hour at the teller every month. I moved to HDFC, and like ICICI, I started losing couriers. So I finally moved to CITIBANK (Bangalore) and in the past 3 years I have never had a reason to visit their branch and everything is a phone call away. I am one happy customer.

I had a shrarekhan account and it had become a pain in the ass… on one occasion they wrongly charged me 100K INR. (after one month of fighting I finally managed to get the charges reversed) 4 months ago I opened up a ICICI Direct account (which provides me a much more reliable service). However with it comes the pain of dealing with ICICI Bank. The worse part is that I cannot do an online transaction without the Debit card.

However Foreign Banks and brokerage services provide me with an excellent service. Smith Barney and UBS provide me with some excellent brokerage services. They might be expensive, but even if i value my time at a minuscule 50/- an hour, I am saving millions of rupees.

Rajnikant in Dhoom-3 !! for all rajni fans

AFTER LOOONG TIME SPECULATIONS AND CHANGES IN THE HERO CASTING,

IT IS CONFIRMED THAT SUPERSTAR RAJNIKANTH IS GOING TO ACT IN THE NEXT DHOOM SERIES MOVIE –

DHOOM-3

Shooting has already been started …….

A Clip of the movie is given below ….
Just go through the mail step by step…
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Rajni kanth Chasing Villains
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Come on Rajni kanth
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Cant predict anything – He is the

BOSS


rajni

Calculation and Payment of FBT

A summary of Indian Income Tax laws on calculation of Fringe Benefit Tax on Stock based Compensation.

RSU’s (Restricted Stock Units)
– Tax on Fair Market Value of shares on vesting
– Payable when shares are “allotted” or transferred to the employees

ESPP’s
– Tax on the Discount on purchase
– Payable on purchase

Options
– Calculation, Spread being difference between fair market value on vesting and exercise price
– Payable at the time of exercise

more info at Hindu. Current FBT rate is at 33.99%